Today is a Special Day. This is the day that my Heavenly Father decided was my time to enter this world. I came here in the wee still hours of the morning. In fact I have been told that there may have been a mix up on the actual time of my arrival. There have been comments that I came into this world a day earlier, which means that maybe yesterday was my Special Day. The only people that would have been able to tell me the truth are no longer in this world. But is it really that important? In years past it was always really important to me to celebrate birthdays; whether it was my parents, sister, or kids. I always liked to TRY to make their days special for them. We would have whatever their favourite meal was for dinner, cake and ice cream. Life was fun. We didn't always have a lot of money but there was always a gift or two for the little ones etc.
Life is not like that now. As we grow older things change and life seems to become complicated. At this time in my life I expected to be relaxed, living in a loving and fulfilling home. Enjoying my grand kids and "trying" to help out my daughters with whatever they needed help in. My life is not like that. There is DRAMA in it that I do not want. Curves have been thrown at me that are right off the "Jerry Springer Show" or any of those other type shows. The things that have happened to me in this last week or so will definitely have a life altering effect on me, my girls, my grandchildren and my closest and dearest friends. We all thought that a particular person was genuine and trustworthy. He has turned out to be a bigamist, a liar, a fraud, a thief and too many other things that I can't even think of right now. He has not only hurt me and mine but he has also hurt people in what I thought was his PAST LIFE. These people are/were still a part of his "CURRENT LIFE" and he has determined or never planned on telling them that he had moved on. He has cleaned out this other lady as well as myself. I pray that God will help him to see all the bad that he has done and the hurt he has caused. When all of this was going on I had little nudges that were not what I was really wanting to pay attention to. I would pray that God would convict this man's heart so that he would decide to be at HOME where he belonged, thinking that where I was, was where home was. God answered the prayers. This man did, I think, get convicted and went home but forgot to tell me that his home was somewhere else. He also forgot to tell me, that there never was a divorce from the other person, when he married me. This poor other lady had no idea as to what all he had been doing for the last 12 years behind her back. I don't know if she will ever be able to trust him again or not. I pray to God that they will be able to get over this and she can and will forgive him. Life is to short to live with this kind of pain. It is difficult to go ahead when somebody has hurt you as bad as this and even more difficult to know whether you could trust another person in a partner-like friendship.
I know and believe that God has a plan for me but right now I have no idea which way my path is going. I am finding it very hard to see the "Lighthouse" in the fog. I am taking each day one at a time and I have a lot of Christian Friends and Family that are standing beside me through these hours of despair. If any of you are reading this, please know that I am so grateful for all of your love and support. I am trying very hard to be on God's radar system so that I am following His path and not mine.
God Bless You All.
Happy 60th Birthday to Me.
Until we post again.
Roscoe and I