Cranberry Cottage: TRUST

TRUST

Random House Definition:

1) Unquestioning belief in the integrity, strength, or ability of a person or thing.

2) Confident expectation.

3) A person or thing that can be relied on.

4) The responsibility of a person in whom confidence or authority is placed.

5) Charge or custody

6) Something committed or entrusted to one's care.

The word "Trust" appears 147 times in the Bible; 134 times in the Old Testament and 13 times in the New Testament. The phrase "Trust in the Lord" appears 10 times in the Bible.

Are you like so many people today that have trouble with issues of Trust. I will admit here and now that I am one of those people. If I was to tell you the number of times that I have believed and trusted that people were going to do what they say and then didn't, your head would probably spin off your shoulders. So for me, Trust is a very big issue. I can remember one time I was at the hospital waiting to have a test done. My husband was waiting with me when the Anaesthetist came in to see me and introduce himself. I was pretty worried and he thought he could make me feel better by saying "Trust me" I looked up at my husband. He knew what was going through my head. Everything turned out okay but what a flurry of thoughts that went through my head at that moment.

This time last year I was counting down the number of weeks till my wedding day and getting more and more frazzled by the moment. You see my Husband is a long distance company truck driver. His time is not his own. There have been so many times that he has told me that he will be home on such and such a day and then the company he works for, will do what they call a trailer switch. These trailer switches are not usually close to our home and it is usually heading right back across the border away from home. Some of you ladies out there may know exactly what I am talking about if you are married to a truck driver. The first time it happens, you don't think to much about it and you just kind of shake it off. But when it starts to become the norm you begin to wonder if he is requesting it to happen, so he doesn't have to come home. When you have Trust issues like I do, this is very difficult not to believe. As of this morning, when the sun starts to rise it will be 3 weeks since I have seen my husband. Prior to that, it was the whole month of March that he was gone. I was so upset this last week because of so many other things that are happening here, that I really wanted him to come home. So I called his place of employment and talked to his Safety Coordinator. I asked him to please tell Dispatch that my husband had to be home for the weekend. While talking to him I could feel myself starting to well up with tears. All I wanted was for my man to come home. I needed him. I TRUSTED that the Safety Guy would oblige my request. Guess what: He didn't or the Dispatch Office ignored him; one of the two. My husband called late on Friday night and told me he would definitely be home one way or another on Saturday. So I was happy about that and really started to look forward to seeing him for the whole weekend. Saturday morning came and went, afternoon came and went and evening came and went. Not even a phone call to let me know what had happen. Same on Sunday and at noon I couldn't take it anymore so I called his Dispatch to see what had happened. I got told that I couldn't call like this anymore. He (Dispatch) would send him (husband) a message to call Wife. I still haven't heard from him and to be completely honest about it I don't even know if the message was sent. This does not help to fix TRUST issues.

You can look at this story from all different angles and believe me I can dream up some of the best but I have to choose not to go down those nightmarish paths. I have been turning more and more to my Bible for consolation and searching for answers. There are times when I wonder if I was even suppose to marry this man. But I keep getting directed to follow God's words and just be calm and pray. In my heart I know that my husband loves me but he likes to make sure that everyone is happy with the job that he does for them. Because of this, I know it isn't intentional, but I get put on the back burner. We are, neither one us "Spring Chickens" and this is a third marriage for both of us. We came together with a lot of baggage and are constantly trying to work through it. But because of the absenteeism and the TRUST issues sometimes it seems futile.

I pray everyday that God will keep him safe out on the highways and byways of his life. That He will bring him home to me safe and sound. That this, is where my husband wants to be. I pray that our financial issues will survive this storm and that I will understand God's direction in all of this.

Why did I start to write about TRUST? Well when you have trouble TRUSTING and believing the touchable and real things in our lives sometimes it is very difficult to TRUST God with our troubles. Not all so very long ago a very difficult scenario was presented to me.

It goes something like this:

"Before you TRUST and believe in the world you live in, learn to TRUST and BELIEVE in me, your heavenly FATHER"

All things are possible with GOD in Charge of the PLANNING.

Luke 18: 27 "The Lord said" The things which are impossible with men are possible with GOD"

Matthew 6: 26 " Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"